Happy Birthday Billy.

Today is April 1st, Billy's birthday - and by my count he would have turned 74.  It's hard to believe that he's been gone over 2 years now. 

This evening we are going to my mom's house to have a get together.  Never calling it a birthday party for Billy- because that might bring on emotion and that's the one thing my family doesn't do well. 

But, I had my own celebration of sorts.  Eric, Ashton and I went to the Burger King Billy always went to for breakfast.  We went for breakfast and sat in the booth right behind the men who he used to meet up with.

As we pulled up to the light just before turning into the lot I became very nervous- heart rate up, hands a bit sweaty-- a sudden urge to cry.  But I reminded myself it was ok to be upset, but really it's just a place.  Just walls, food and chairs.  Nothing there to hurt me.  In fact, it could be a happy memory because we had breakfast there one morning before I took him to the doctor.  We had a good talk that day.  Spending time together, letting each other know in not so many words, how much we mean to each other. 

Little did I know that that day would be a precious memory now.

I talked with his friends today.  I didn't expect them to be there- but they were.  They knew it was his birthday.  They asked about mom and the family in general.  It was good.

I'll love him forever.  I miss him so bad. 

Until Next Time.