How I'm feeling today

I'm off work today.  I went to work last night-- didn't get home until almost midnight.  Surprisingly I enjoy coming home late at night-- my radio is broken so to and from work is a chill time.  I can think-- and just relax.  Especially coming home- there's little to no traffic, it's quiet, dark and cool outside.  It was a good shift.  I made $92 in tips which with my hourly worked out to be $17 an hour.  I've noticed that I'm still tired when I leave work but my body is starting to get used to it.

I've also noticed that when I'm at work I'm totally in the moment.  I had anxiety yesterday before work-- which I've had every day before - but not quite as bad.  I used to get chills down my legs as soon as I woke up before-- now I get a pent up energy kinda feeling about an hour before I have to start getting ready.  Once I'm there I'm on auto pilot and just do it.  I'm not thinking about anything else other than doing my job- which is really good for my brain and my emotional state.  My anxiety is gone when I'm there.

It used to be terrible when I was there, but now that I know what to do- it's way better.

Once aspect of work that I really like is talking to people.  I have people I don't really connect with but some are just so fun to talk to.  Sometimes I'm amazed that I'm getting paid for this.  I hope that I continue to like this job the way I like it now.  I'm hoping we get the Subaru fixed soon so that I can go places on my days off.  I can most days but sometimes Eric likes taking my car to work-- and I don't feel good about driving the Subaru at the moment.

I'm settling into this new life.  It's been almost 2 months since I started at the bar.  We're almost done wrapping things up for VHB-- I'll be glad when we're totally done.  I don't miss it.

The only thing I'm kinda bummed about is I texted Sara, Rosie's mom last Saturday (today is Thursday)  telling her I miss them and would like to get together soon,   I've never gotten a reply.

But I really can't and won't get upset about it.  I love Rosie, but I can't force her-- and if I have to force her what good is the relationship anyway?  So, I've had to let that relationship go.  I love Rosie so it hurts that I won't be involved in her life the way I had hoped, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.  I guess the only way I'll see her is through Jared.  Eric has seen her twice since VHB closed-- I haven't seen them in over a month.  Oh well, all I can do is hope and send them happy vibes and loving vibes.
I've deactivated my facebook account.  It feels good- and if I find I don't miss or need it for anything in the next 6 mths to a year- I may delete it all together.

Living in the NOW.  Loving every moment cause that's all ya got.

Until Next Time.

Just seeing if this will work. Video of my April Solo Adventure in 2017

Here's a video that I took gosh last spring in 2017.  I'm too chicken to put it up on youtube- but I'm hoping this will be a good way to blog and put up occ. videos too.  Give some life to my living journal.  I do this not only for myself but hopefully for my family in the years to come- and after I'm gone.

Until Next Time.

The end of an era......

A few days before May 1st, after months of lower sales, we made the hard choice to close our shop.  We had had it open for 6 years.

Ashton was in 4th grade when we opened.  He was just about to finish up his sophomore year of high school when we closed the doors for good.

Here's to the years we spent together as a family.  It was hard, it was fun, it was frustrating and it was the best thing ever.  I'm so glad that even though ultimately it went under, we had the nerve to do what we wanted.

Here's to you Valley Homebrew.  Thank you.

Until Next Time.

Easter Sunday 2018

We decided to go to Morven Park in Leesburg VA on Easter this year.  Little did we know that just a few weeks later we would be faced with making a very hard decision that would affect our lives deeply.

Until Next Time.  

Before I worked there......

Here's some pictures just a week before Broken Window opened.   I had no idea that just over a month later I would be working behind the bar.

Zach and Jacob behind the bar.  Tim, Jared and Eric at the bar.

Eric and Rosie both having a drink. 

Tim finishing his beer while Zach takes a look at his creation.  

Until Next Time.