Appreciating Life Every Day

I recently found out that a person I worked with for quite a few years is in jail.  She will likely be spending at least a year there, but I'm not sure.  I heard about it on the news and when I saw her mugshot there on my tv screen a panic went through me.  I had to tell myself - "it's not happening to me, it's not happening to me."

I've been thinking about her a lot this past week since I found out.  At first I was just so shocked that she could've gotten herself mixed up in the situation she's in.  We were pretty good friends back in the day.  We've also had falling outs during that time too.  Most recently we were friends on facebook and that was it.  I haven't seen or talked to her in about 5 years.  The last time I saw her was at a local buffet.  She was sitting with her mom eating when we walked in.  I talked to her for a couple minutes, average small talk- hey how are you?  how's your daughter?  I knew from just that short chat that she was the same girl I knew from back in the day.  I never have had anything against her, I just knew that she wasn't someone I wanted to spend time with.  I had actually wished her a happy birthday on facebook through a private message- she thanked me and said we should do lunch- I replied sure and asked when she was free.  I never got a response, so I assumed the feeling was mutual.

I'm finally coming out of obsession about the situation, (thanks anxiety and ocd) and being able to separate myself from it and not think that I'm going to jail to for some crazy reason.

I just think about all the little things that I get to do now that I'm sure she wishes she could do.

Make tea in the morning, drive a car, stay in bed, not worrying about someone beating you up, snuggling the people you love.

This morning when I was meditating I heard the birds sing since it's an unusually warm day today.  I thought to myself- "Can she even hear birds sing?"

Anyway, I feel really bad for her and I hope she gets her stuff straight.  I also want to thank her for creating an even deeper appreciation of my life.  I knew that I appreciated my life before but now it's the tiniest of things that I really soak up.  Laying in my soft bed with warm blankets.  Quiet.  Yummy food.  Stepping outside whenever I want.  Picking out my clothes, Privacy.

I have an amazing life.  I am so fortunate to be enjoying my life right now.  There's been hard times that I didn't think I'd make it through, but I'm here. It's amazing.

Simply breathing and enjoying the sunshine is amazing.

Until Next Time.