Don't let these smiles fool you. It was July 24th 2017 and this is moments before I stepped on the Green Trail in the Gambrill State Park in Maryland--
Moments before I damned near killed myself.
I wasn't really excited about my adventure this month. My mother had hurt her shoulder recently and the extra work helping her was stressful so I made myself get out into the woods to clear my head. Good idea right? Riiiiiight.
It started out well enough. It was hot, but cooler in the woods. The scenery was nice. The street noise I was grumbling about hearing finally faded away. During this nice time I didn't notice that I had been heading down hill the whole time.
The first hill heading back up out of wherever I was was harder than it looked. Half way up I had to stop to catch my breath, lose the hat and the cute pink hiking shirt I was wearing over my cotton tshirt. Did I mention that I was carrying a backpack that weighed about 5 lbs? It may have only been 5lbs, but it felt like a freakin' brick on my back.
By the time I finished the second hill I was close to a panic. My heart was racing. I was shaky. I was sweating up a storm. My mouth was dry. Panic took over making it hard for me to even think clearly. I had convinced myself that there was no way I was strong enough to go up ANOTHER hill- which right in front of me was another steep hill. I felt like I had really put myself in serious danger. Luckily I had plenty of water and a banana. and a yogurt. Lucky again, two ladies came who were both older than me to also stop and rest for a minute to give me back my hat that I didn't even realize I had dropped. They had let me know that I had another mile to go before I was through (it was about a 2 mile hike) BUT if I could just make it up that last hill-- the worst would be over. It flattened out after this one last hill. There was a small inlcine after that but there was hope.
That's what I needed. Encouragement from these ladies was my saving grace. I don't know what I would've done if they hadn't told me- you can do it! One last hill! It's hard to tell how long I would've sat there scared to death. This picture is half way up that last hill. I kept saying to myself- just get to that boulder then you can rest. While I rested I calmed a bit and was able to enjoy a small view through the trees. Yep. I was definitely high up.
The trail DID flatten out. It became rugged and thin and I felt like a serious hiker. Still reeling from my experience I felt a little bit of pride that I did indeed survive those hills.
I sat and rested at this monument along the trail. This is when I really started to relax again. I knew I was back to where if I needed help I could easily call out and someone would be able to hear me. I was so weirded out by this hike that I didn't even notice that there was a place to stand and look at a huge overlook. I caught my breath and sat for a few minutes before moving on.
I can't say that I enjoyed anything about this hike. The first few blissful yards were nice because I didn't realize what I had done to myself. Once I hit that first hill the hike went from relaxing and mind clearing to scarey as shit and get me back to my Subaru! I want this over.
I was THRILLED to see this sign. When I finally finished I wasn't excited. I didn't get that HELL YEAH! I JUST DID THAT feeling. I didn't feel empowered. I felt weak, small and horribly humbled to the fact of how out of shape I am.
I felt like a failure. Sure, I was happy. Sure I had a bit of a bad ass swagger when I went into Sheetz afterward to pee. But looking back on it now- the feeling of failure stole my glory.
Who do you think you are- stole my glory. You shouldn't have been out there in the first place- stole my glory.
Honestly I haven't felt the same way about hiking since. Recalling this hike makes me nervous again.
I haven't decided if its a good thing or a bad thing but it has made me realize that I may want to stick with nature walker instead of hiker.
I had a glorious time in Greenbrier the previous month. That was significantly easier and waaaaay more relaxing. Yet, I still got some good exercise.
So with all this being said, I am planning on walking (not hiking) on the C&O canal and go through the museum for my adventure in August. That will be a heck of a lot less stressful.
Until Next Time.
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